Friday, September 15, 2006

Oh the inhuMANity

First, let me say how incredibly lucky I am. I know that. LA-B is the A-class, numero uno, hands down, best guy on the planet. I don't for a moment of any day doubt or question that. But it's moments like this here right now that I want to get down on my fat bloated knees and thank the heavens above for my Schmoopity Boo.

Why this sudden burst of gratitude for my husband?

I came into work this morning to find one of my coworkers in a state of shock. She's been seeing this guy for over a year and just learned that he is not at all who he pretends to be. Honestly folks, this is the stuff of a Jerry Springer episode.

It seems coworker girl (we'll call her Melanie) started dating Eric (not innocent, so no need to protect his identity, right) about a year and a half ago. His job takes him on the road quite a bit and at one point it seems that Eric hooked up with a girl in one of his ports. This caused a rift with "Melanie", but eventually she believed him when he said it was a one time thing and would never happen again. (um - check out separate rant below)*

So, just a month or so ago, Eric found himself in need of a new living situation when his roommate decided not to renew the lease. Since he is on the road more often than not, he and "Melanie" decided he should just move into her apartment. After all, he'd only be there a few days out of every few months. Moving in means all his stuff is there, all his mail comes there, letters, bills, etc. And occasionally "Melanie" is asked to pay one of these bills.

Last night, Eric's cell phone bill arrived. "Melanie" opened it up so she could tell him the total due. She noticed an unusually large number of calls to a one particular phone number and they all seemed to immediately precede or follow calls to her own phone number. Curious, "Melanie" looked up the area code.

SURPRISE!!! It's the area code to the state where the aforementioned "one time only girl" lives. "Melanie" admits now that she had a suspicion that something wasn't quite right for a while. But she never could have dreamed what she was about to learn.

She called the girl (we'll call her Emma as she does seem to be innocent in all of this). It went a little something like this...

Hi Emma, you don't know me. My name is "Melanie" and I am calling about Eric. Would you mind telling me what your relationship to him is?

Eric and I are together. We are moving to Seattle together at the end of the year.
This led to a lengthy conversation filled with revelations that he had been stringing these 2 girls along for nearly a year. He had managed to shuffle them in and out of his hotel rooms at various ports within hours of each other. He had convinced one that he was sick and highly contagious for a week while the other visited from out of state. He had lied and cheated like some sort of maniacal mastermind and these 2 girls bought it hook line and sinker.

I feel sick. Really. I've met this guy and he seemed like an ok cat. He even had "Melanie" give me a huge box of baby clothes that his daughter (from a previous relationship) had grown out of. But now, I kind of want to burn them.

How do people like that wake up and get out of bed every day? How do they look themselves in the mirror? YUCK.

Anyway, this has been the topic of conversation around the office for most of the day and at some point, a coworker suggested "Melanie" post her story on a website called Don't Date Him Girl.Com. I had never heard of this sight, so I went to check it out. It's pretty entertaining. Kind of like looking at a car wreck minus the shattered glass and blood. But most of all, it made me so thankful to be married to a guy who would never in a million years even live on the same planet as Eric, much less consider behaving like him.

LA-B is the best guy in the world!

* There is a scene in most horror movies when someone stands at the top of the basement stairs and hesitates for a moment. It's at that moment that we, as an audience, find ourselves gripping the theater seat and screaming "don't do it. Don't go down the stairs." I think that same moment exists in real life in a relationship when one person tells their significant other that they will never cheat on them again. I hear these stories and I grip the arms of whatever chair I am in and I think to myself "don't do it. Don't get back together with him." I refrain from saying outloud, though. Because people don't REALLY want your advice. And, inevitably, they all end up getting slaughtered by the louse at some point just like the character in the horror movie. Oh well.

1 Comments:

Anonymous la.barabbas said...

Oh, sweetie. You know I'm too much in love - and way too lazy - to ever do you wrong!

10:08 PM, September 21, 2006  

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