Is Tori Spelling Available?

I can't and won't go into too many details, but I will tell you this:

My boss received an email today from a generic gmail address. The email was written from the "voice" of a disgruntled member of his staff and included information that very few people are privy to. Currently, there are only 2 employees on his staff. I am one of them. He was very upset. He called and emailed me and the other employee asking which one of us wrote it. Neither one of us did. I swear. But someone did.

Still reeling from the hours of discussion about this email and who sent it and why they would send it and why they would write it as if one of us wrote it...I got a call from LA-B saying that Tenacious G's daycare had called to say she has a fever of 102 and we need to go get her. I packed up my stuff, put on my coat and went down to the parking lot to get in my car. But it wouldn't start. It was pouring rain, the parking guys are all standing around my car speaking to me in broken English trying to figure out what was wrong. For some reason, the car was stuck in reverse. It won't start unless it's in park and you can't switch gears unless it is running. Lose lose. So I call AAA.

While sitting in my dead car with rain pounding on my roof and worry pounding on my head, I looked up to the Heavens and said "really? What's next?"

Never look up to the Heavens and say "really? What's next?"

What was next was the AAA guy coming out, getting in my car, getting out of my car, opening the hood, looking in the mess of metal and tubes and wires, and telling me to get in the car.

"Ma'am, can you go ahead and turn the key?"

I did.

It started.

I scream "thank you Lord for triple A!"

I get out of the car and AAA dude is looking at me as if he has more to say.

"Ma'am. I don't know how to tell you this....but, someone has been tampering with your car."

He proceeds to tell me about some thing and how it was detached and that it doesn't just detach and that someone must have gone in there and detached it and I should be careful and be sure to go to the dealership and have them look at it and...be careful."

So, let's review. Someone sent an inflammatory email to my boss that appeared to be written by me and then, someone tampered with my car.

Um....please let it be known I want Tori Spelling to play me in the movie of the week of my life.