Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Auntie Nana Editor

Tenacious G is getting all amped up for the arrival of her Auntie tonight. I am amped to have someone here to make me a mocha and hold Tenacious G while I go potty and what not.

Too much info?

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Random Acts of Insanity (AKA Future me and the cable guy)

LA-B and I were out taking a stroll through our neighborhood testing out our new Baby Bjorn with Tenacious G this evening when I had the rare pleasure of glimpsing into my future. As we walked down the residential street in the heart of the San Fernando Valley we were struck by the sound coming from the yard of the house we were about to pass. Turning our attentions to a scene out of some David Lynch movie that will surely be made at some point we saw a woman hugging a man and saying "I love you. I love you." Seems simple enough, right? But wait, there's so much more. The woman wore a royal blue house dress cinched at the waist with a skinny white belt. Her feet were covered by a pair of navy blue ankle socks and light blue slippers. White doesn't begin to describe the color of her hair. It truly was absent of any color - shocking. If I had to guess I'd place her age somewhere between 78 and death. The man was considerably younger and taller than his presumed paramour. He looked to be Latino with close cropped hair. Sporting a white short sleeved collared shirt and crisp navy work pants, he held a piece of paper in his hand which was outstretched beyond the woman. She held him tightly and jumped up and down as she repeated her testament to this young man.

Was this a grandmother saying goodbye to her grandson after a surprise Thanksgiving visit? That's what I thought at first as I wrote their story in my head. But as we strolled what unfolded was a far more bizarre tale.

Her tiny body pressed against his and bounced with delight. But the feeling clearly wasn't mutual. There was a look on the man's face that I didn't see at first. It was discomfort. And the look on the woman's face - insanity.

Just as I noticed these new details, my attention was diverted back to the street where a car was turning the corner. There, parked just down from this house was a white van embossed with the "Time Warner Cable" logo.

A light went on in my head.

He's not her grandson, he's the cable guy and he's just fixed her cable. She's an 80 year old shut in and her cable went out leaving her totally alone without access to QVC's 72 hour holiday kickoff sale. This guy just reinstated her link to the outside world and she is showing her gratitude by squeezing the bejeezus out of him and professing her undying love.

Just as the story became clear to me in the here and now, I saw my own life flash before my eyes. That's me in 50 years. Long after LA-B has ridden off into the sunset and Tenacious G is on her world tour with Bono and the resurrected Pope John Paul II, I'll be hold up in a little house somewhere in the San Fernando Valley with only my 300 cats and cable tv to keep me company. God forbid the cable goes out. Heaven help us. Heaven help us. Indeed.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Hit Me

Hi friends. I've been quiet for a bit. I've been busy taking care of this little life we made and, in my rare spare time, reading about someone else's life. Now, I've come to the conclusion that something needs to be done and I am hoping you all can help me do it. I need to hire a hit man. Yep, I want a skilled paid assassin. I'm taking out a hit on Death. He's done too much damage lately and I'm gonna put a stop to it. Are ye with me?

Monday, November 06, 2006

The Most Compelling Thing I've Ever Read

How's that for a grandiose title? Did I get your attention? Good. Because it's true.

At the recommendation of Cup Of Joe Powell, I began reading a blog yesterday that has shaken me to the core. And let me tell you, that ain't easy.

For those of you that know me, you know that I have suffered some losses recently. Big losses. I also work a job where my main responsibility is to read letters and seek out families who have suffered some major losses. And I do mean SUFFERED. Suffice to say I am a bit calloused. Sympathy and empathy, once at the top of my list of character traits, have almost disappeared from my So, for me to say that this blog I have been reading has moved me...well, it's quite a statement.

Joe Powell explains it pretty well over at his place, if you want to take the same journey as I did to get there. But if you are short on time, I'll quote from the actual blog.

  • Whats happening

    GAC, my 29 year old wife, the mother of two young children, and a frequent writer here is in dire condition. The root cause is unknown, but she is in critical condition at an ICU here in Oak Ridge, TN.
    While this is happening, I'm hijacking what is normally a once a day, write whatever kind of blog and turning it into a journal and a vigil for her.
    This began on October 30, became serious on November 2nd, and became critical on November 3rd. Feel free to catch up in the archives.
    I will continue this as long as it needs to be.

    Thanks very much.

The blog is called Atomictumor and I BEG you to read it. I beg for a couple of reasons.
  1. It will reinstate or reinforce your belief in love.
  2. Perhaps someone will see something familiar in this woman's condition and be able to offer some sort of explanation as to why she is so ill. (I know - long shot. But trust me it happens. Feel free to ask me about the time I diagnosed a 12 year old girl with Congenital Insensitivity to Pain with Anhidrosis).
  3. Whatever your personal belief system, it's hard to dispute the power of positive thinking. Call it prayer, call it meditation, call it good thoughts. Call it what you will, but the more people who are expelling brain waves of positivity into the atmosphere about this man and his wife, the better.
So yourself a favor and read this blog. It starts here at the bottom of the page 3. Please read it.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Ladies and Gentlemen, put your hands together for...The Great Pumpkin

It's been 3 weeks to this very day since the world became a much better place thanks to the arrival of The Great Pumpkin. With my new duties as Pumpkin chief of staff, I have had little time to write on this Blahg. But I wanted to let everyone who didn't already know that she is here and she is PERFECT.